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How To Make Your Man Feel Needed in a Relationship

Posted by Leleyat Fleur on

Every man wants to feel like a man. This is because deeply rooted in the psyche of every man is the desire to be accepted, appreciated, and loved by those he loves and cares for the most.

When a man feels he plays an important role in your life as his woman, it naturally motivates him to want to try harder to make you happier. This is because he believes that the way he treats you has a positive influence in your life.

When a man feels needed and wanted, he feels good about himself and is happy in the relationship.

The benefits of making your man feel like a true king are enormous to you and the relationship as a whole. The reason for this is pretty obvious.

When your man feels kingly, he will almost certainly act like a King. And any King in his right senses definitely wants to make his Queen feel like top royalty too.

Before we delve into the crux of the matter, let’s take a brief look at some fundamental concepts about how to make your man feel needed and manly.

Men and The Feeling of Insecurity

One of the biggest problems you might encounter as a woman about how to make your man feel needed and manly is the fact that men do not naturally verbalize their needs all the time.

Also, most women believe that men are strong and confident and thus don’t need to be told how they are. Yet, there’s nothing more far from the truth that this widespread assumption.

The reality is that men face insecurities just like women. So, despite his desire to want to be your protector and provider, your man can still feel insecure about his ability to achieve these desires.

Your man feels good about himself when he believes he is effectively carrying out the role of being your provider and protector while equally making you happy.

However, when he feels he’s not functioning adequately in this capacity, it can easily result in a gradual deterioration of his ego, self-esteem, and overall happiness.

Also, it’s important to realize that men have a hard time internalizing their accomplishments than women do.

Thus, you can be of great assistance in helping your man in this regard by acknowledging his strengths and accomplishments.

Putting it another way, your man actually wants to see a version of himself in your eyes that makes him feel like a real man.

Thus, he needs your actions and words to mirror him in a way that makes him feel like who he wants to be. Let the things you do and say to him reflect to him the person he is to you — a King.

Why Men Crave Feeling Needed

Generally, most ladies feel wanted and attractive when they receive daily compliments and sweet kisses from their men.

Similarly, there are particular things you can do that will greatly help to validate the ego of your man. They will make your man feel needed and manly about himself.

This feeling of being needed and wanted within every man is basically due to evolutionary psychology.

The “Hero Instinct” is probably one of the best descriptors of this in-built desire within every man.

The Hero Instinct is a term coined by psychologist James Bauer in his popular dating book, “His Secret Obsession.”

James uses this term to describe the biological drive within every man to:

  • Feel respected by those around him
  • Provide, protect, and care for the people he loves
  • Feel appreciated for his efforts.

The ability to fulfil these needs for those he loves and cares about is what gives any man the deepest feeling of happiness. This is what makes him to feel truly manly about himself.

Thus, the triggering of a man’s “Hero Instinct” makes him to feel intense and wonderful emotions.

This makes him to experience a heightened sense of power, purpose, meaning, strength, and joy in his relationship.

Ironically, most men don’t realize that they crave these fundamental drives in their lives.

When a woman is able to tap into this knowledge and make her man feel like the true hero he craves, she unwittingly unleashes a man who is more committed to her and their relationship.

What Does Making Your Man Feel Needed Entail?

Actually, “being manly” doesn’t necessary mean that your man becomes more of a man.

It’s more about creating a greater perception of that feeling that every man internally craves after in your man.

This doesn’t mean that you need to have the body of a model in order to satisfy his needs. It’s also not about simply boosting his ego or dancing to his whine and dictates.

Making your man feel needed and manly also doesn’t imply that you have to go out of your way to always meet his every need at the cost of neglecting yours.

In the same vein, treating your man like a king doesn’t undermine your strength or power as a woman. Equally, it doesn’t mean that you have to take a backseat in the relationship or become a doormat.

To treat your man like a king is a process that actually requires a good degree of reciprocity and mutual respect towards making each other feel special in the relationship.

Love is a two-way street — it involves a lot of giving and taking to make any relationship work. Making your man feel like a king should naturally make him want to treat you like his queen.

Thus, it’s very important to set a healthy boundary between making your man feel manly and being a doormat for him.

Also, while making your man feel like a man is one of the most important things you can do to keep your relationship strong, always remember that it’s not your job to cater for your man. Thus, you don’t have to take the responsibility for his feelings.

How Women Make Men Feel Less Like Men

There’s an element of truth in saying that men are more in their minds while women are more in touch with their heart.

Simply put — men are more “egoistic” than women are. This is why to appear manly and important, men generally want to feel intelligent, valuable, and desired.

Thus, the way to make a man feel masculine and important is by oiling his ego.

However, when a man feels like an unnecessary appendage in a relationship, there is an increased chance that he’ll subconsciously start looking for someone who needs and wants him in their life.

Independence and Lifestyles

The fact is that every man wants to date or marry a lady who has a sense of control of her life. This is why men don’t like ladies who are too clingy or needy all the time.

Yet, when a lady pushes her independence too far, it can easily make a man feel undesired in a relationship.

It’s a fact that every man wants to always be desired in order to remain relevant and happy in any love relationship.

This is just a natural hardwiring in the psyche of every man. Fighting against it can only result in unnecessary struggles in such a relationship.

Besides the issue of independence, the lifestyle and behavior of many ladies today make their men feel unnecessary and unwanted.

There’s an increased tendency of ladies thinking mostly of what they can get from a relationship rather than putting in the mutual effort necessary to make the relationship work.

The only consequence of such shortsighted thinking is the increased likelihood of a short-lived relationship.

Unconscious Destructive Behaviors

Additionally, a lot of women unconsciously engage in certain behaviors which gradually chip away at the manly attributes in the lives of their men.

There are some “tiny” behaviors that women display which stifle the “Hero Instinct” in their men. Over time, these behaviors generally make a man not to feel good about himself.

Some of the behaviors in question include but not limited to the following:

  • Arguing
  • Bragging
  • Competing
  • Nagging
  • Telling him what to do
  • Being too demanding, or controlling

Avoiding these behaviors and replacing them with more positive ones — we’ll come to that in a moment — can greatly change the dynamics in your relationship.

Ways to Make Your Man Feel Needed

When you start putting these new behaviors into effect thereby making your man happy, it’s a natural effect that he’ll want to go overboard to make your happy because he wants you in his life.

With the above fundamentals out of the way, how do you actually make your man feel needed and like a real man — like Your Royal Highness?

In fact, you’ll soon come to realize that as with all relationships, it’s the small things that count the most.

Thus, you may be surprised by the things you can do to make your man feel needed and manly.

Ultimately, both of you will be winners if you successfully master the art of making your man feel more manly.

1. Compliment Him

Certainly it’s not only women who like receiving compliments. Men also like being complimented in their own way even though they appear touch on the outside.

Despite acting like it doesn’t matter much to him, yet deep inside, every man wants to know that he’s THE man!

So, make concerted effort from time to time to GENUINELY compliment your man about his strength, overall personality, and appearance.

While most compliments men receive are about their appearance, you shouldn’t limit yourself to that. You can also start complimenting him about his personality.

You can’t really go wrong with compliments as long as you don’t fake it. If you try faking it, he’ll definitely know. So, just be sincere about it.

However, if you find it difficult to naturally compliment your man, then try making a list of all the things that made you fall in love with him.

Afterwards, anytime he does any of the things on the list, take that as an opportunity to thank and compliment him about it.

Also, start noticing the cute things about him and creatively convert them into words to shower on him. In fact, whatever it is he does that really turns your head, just let him know about it.

When you compliment your man, it doesn’t only make him feel loved but also makes him feel happy and appreciated. It boosts and uplifts his spirit and self-esteem.

It’s very important that you avoid talking down on your man. In fact, you shouldn’t let the things you say to your man lower his self-esteem.

Instead, you should always strive to be his biggest fan by always complimenting his efforts in your relationship.

2. Flirt With Him

After being in a relationship with a guy for some time, most ladies simply stop flirting with him. However, this can cause your man to start feeling unwanted.

You should never allow things to get so serious in your relationship that you forget to laugh and have fun with your man.

In fact, playing together is one of the best ways to build a strong and intimate relationship with your man. So, start seriously flirting with your man.

Displaying spontaneous physical affection towards your man can go a long way in drawing both of you closer. Hold on to that hug with him for a little bit longer than necessary while savoring his manly scent.

Have more playful touching like getting a little touchy under the table during dinner or at the movies.

Engage in games, recreational sports, snuggle up close together while watch your favorite comedy shows, and whatever it is that gets you both laughing.

3. Always Respect Your Man

What you think about your man and the respect you show towards him seriously affects how he feels about himself.

While everybody wants and deserves to be respected, men tend to desire it a little bit more because of their egocentrism.

For your man, respect is simply another way of telling him that you appreciate him and that he’s important in your life.

In fact, nothing emasculates a man more than disrespecting him. Men dislike being yelled and shouted at, or insulted in anyway in the presence of their friends, kids, or family.

Disrespecting your man by making him feel worthless or incapable of doing something has a more negative effect on him than when such disrespect comes from even his biggest critics.

So, try to solve your differences through using better communication skills. For instance, if you’re having a disagreement with your man and having trouble being calm, kindly excuse yourself for a few minutes and continue the conversation later.

Also, try to learn new patterns of behavior that promote healthy relationships and respect.

4. Give Him Some Space

Despite being in a relationship, it’s imperative that both partners be allowed to remain independent.

However, this doesn’t mean that they don’t need each other or should not rely on one another. Quite the contrary because any healthy relationship should be interdependent.

The fact is that both men and women want to know that they have a sense of independence even when in a long-term relationship.

Yet, such independence shouldn’t be at the neglect of higher purposes in the relationship. When such happens, it’s no longer independence but selfishness.

Thus, allowing your man to be independent allows him to enjoy hobbies, be with friends, and other activities he likes without feeling trapped with you.

In fact, everyone should from time to time take time for themselves — including you.

So, when your man needs some “alone time” or time out with friends, try to respect his desire.

When a man is able to go do his own thing, it helps to reinforce his manhood.

Don’t get mad or feel insulted thinking he just wants to be away from you when your man wants to catch up on extra work or spend the evening out with friends attending games. Also, try to avoid making him feel guilty about it.

Always understand that while you’re still his priority, sometimes your man needs to recharge himself in other ways. And the same should apply to you.

So, understanding why and allowing your man to have some space will help him feel like a manly man while you’ll also feel fulfilled and happy.

5. Appreciate Him

Learn to appreciate the things your man does for you even when he doesn’t expect to be acknowledged for them. Try to do this no matter how large or small the deed may be.

Also, irrespective of the magnitude of his successes, let your man know that you’re proud of his achievements and that he’s doing a great job.

So, whether it’s just a regular chore such as doing the laundry, or fixing a leaking tap, appreciating him for it will have a profound effect on him.

You can actually show appreciation to your man in several ways. The way you do it doesn’t necessarily have to be grand — it just has to be genuine.

A sincere smile or a thank you note left in his coat pocket will do just fine.

When your man feels appreciated for his hard work and the effort he’s putting into the relationship, he’ll also feel that you need him in your life.

This has the effect of making him feel good about himself and to also motivate him to do more for you to keep you feeling happy. So, it’s a win-win situation for both of you.

6. Be Interested and Join Him in Things He Loves

Chances are that like most women, you’re not interested in watching soccer or spending your free time playing video games. You’d rather let your man do that alone or with his friends.

Yet, there are lots of benefits in showing interest, and if possible, participating in things that your man has interest in.

For one, joining him in his hobbies goes to show that you have an interest in the things going on in his life.

Doing so also presents your man with an opportunity to show off and boast about his skills before you. The simple show of interest or a decision to try and give his hobby a chance can greatly make your man feel needed and happy.

But most importantly, showing such interest goes a long way in making your relationship a lot stronger.

You can show interest in things he loves, for instance his job, by asking him how his day was. Also, you can ask questions about his new-found hobby or the current project he’s working on at the office.

You can equally show your interest by listening to him and giving him positive feedback about the things he likes. This can greatly make him feel important.

One thing you might want to take into consideration is that spending time together with your man shouldn’t always be about watching movies.

For a change, you might want to start spending more time together to engage in activities revolving around skill and competition. With time, this will prove to be far more beneficial to you and your man.

7. Tell Him You Love Him

Try making it a habit of frequently telling your man how much you love him.

While these words may seem overrated, they nonetheless never get old and it always feels good hearing them.

Although men are generally known to be moved by what they see, it does not necessarily mean that they are not interested in hearing these words.

Occasionally reaffirming your undying love for your man and how important he is to you would make him feel safe, appreciated, and truly loved.

You can tell him how much you love him either verbally or by sending him a love text message. Alternatively, you can do it the time tested way of giving him a beautiful greeting card.

Going by the popular adage that says “action speaks louder than words,” it is also important to make occasional deliberate gestures that shows your man that you truly love him.

8. Surprise Him With Special Things

One way to show how much you love and value your man is by occasionally going out of your way to do something special for him.

When you surprise your man with gifts or any other planned gesture, it seriously goes to show him that he is loved, appreciated, and valued. These are the stuffs that truly makes your man feel manly.

Yet, it’s important to note that not all men show and are receptive to affection in the same way. So, the idea is to use what you know about your man to show him that you love and care about him.

For instance, you can surprise him by planning a candle-lit date night or by preparing his favorite dinner. You can also go out of your way and get him a small but memorable gift.

If at all possible, you might also want to consider getting him that particular item you know he’s been desiring to have for some time now.

Yet, the simplest way to surprise him is by finding out exactly what he wants at the moment and getting it for him — if it’s possible at the moment.

Men, including your man, love it when their significant other buys them gifts and pampers them.

Such loving acts goes a long way to show him how much he means to you. This helps to make him feel more manly about himself.

9. Thank Him

Your man needs to be reassured that he is doing a great job of taking care of you. Telling him thank you for the things he does for you is one sure way of making your man feel special, loved, and wanted.

Always tell your man thank you for his initiative in making minor repairs around the house as well as for how he normally open doors for you.

You need to stop assuming that your man knows how thankful you are about the stuffs he does for you. Instead, literally let him know by directly telling him.

10. Be Affectionate

Being affectionate towards your man is about expressing your feelings of how much you like him and how fond you are of him.

It’s all about demonstrating your love or fondness for your man through how you behave towards him.

Essentially, being affectionate towards your man is about you being sensual and emotional with your man.

This includes cuddling up with him, running your fingers through his hair, kissing him on the neck, or simply giving him a good night kiss.

It involves engaging him in any sensual and emotional act that makes him feel special in every way possible.

However, most women have the assumption that a man only wants to be close to them when it’s time for sex.

But this is not true as men also like to cuddle, hold hands, and be kissed.

In fact, the truth is that men also crave to feel that raw human emotion and affection. The only problem is that most of them are simply just too stubborn and ashamed to admit it.

For the most part, while he may act like he hates it, deep down inside him, he’s actually loving it.

11. Ask For His Help

Men are basically hardwired to solve problems and as such nothing makes a man feel more important than being asked to help solve a problem.

So, from time to time simply stroke his ego by asking for his help in solving some of your problems.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a parenting situation, a technical issue, a financial problem, or simply a philosophical query.

It’s a good idea to always talk to your man about things that might be troubling you. This way, you’ll make him realize that you truly need his support in your life.

Regardless of the problem, he’ll be very glad to help in trying to solve it. After completing the task, ensure to thank him for helping to save the day while equally complimenting his skills.

In fact, it does not matter if it’s something that you can handle by yourself. It might simply be to change a dead bulb, open a tough jar lid, or top up your car’s engine oil.

Asking for his help is a great way to reinforce the fact that you’re both a team. It also goes to show that you’re willing to ask for help when you need it.

Deciding to ask your man for help is also a clear sign that you trust him and his judgment.

This is perhaps one of the easiest and most effective ways of making your man feel more manly about himself.

12. Ask For His Advice

Consulting with your man and taking important decisions together is another great way to make your man feel needed and manly.

Even though you might be a strong and independent woman, try asking your man for advice from time to time. Don’t be ashamed or afraid to ask for his advice — after all, you’re simply being human.

There are times when you might have already made up your mind, yet it might still help to check-in with him and see what he thinks about it.

If he expresses a different opinion than yours, then try to find out why he doesn’t agree with your perspective and explain your reasons to him.

When you ask your man for advice, it lets him know that you think he’s smart, insightful, and that he’ll give you good suggestions.

It also makes him realize that you value and trust his opinion about important decisions in your life.

This can greatly make your man to feel good about himself and boost his self-esteem knowing that you respect him enough to do something based on his judgment and opinion.

Even if you don’t finally take his suggestions, simply thank him for being there for you in your time of need.

13. Let Him Know When You Miss Him

When your man isn’t around and you’re missing him, make it a duty to let him know how much you’re missing his presence.

Also, let him know how much you’re eagerly awaiting his return into your waiting arms.

You can do this by sending him some cute flirty text messages to put a smile on his face. To spice things up a bit, you can also include a cute selfie.

The reality is that your man mostly sorts out his feelings for you when you’re apart from each other.

It is at such times that he comes to realize just how much your presence means to him. That’s when he starts missing your cute smile and those little weird habits of yours.

Expressing your feelings about how you miss him around you will not only make him feel flattered but also loved. And chances are that he might start missing you also — if not already doing so.

Telling him that you miss simply makes your man realize how much you’re actually thinking about him. This is another sure way to make your man feel needed and more manly.

14. Desire Him Sexually

The truth is that sex is not all that men think about. Nonetheless, it is very important to them.

Men and women are different and for the most part, a man’s sexual drive is usually higher than that of a woman. But sex is more than just a drive as it’s a basic need in any healthy love relationship.

On the whole, most men tend to show affection in order to receive sex while women give sex to receive affection. Meeting each other’s need thus helps to create the true joy and fulfilment we seek in our relationships.

You need to realize that touch is a very fundamental part of our existence. In fact, engaging in sensual and emotional touches boosts the body’s level of oxytocin. Oxytocin is a hormone that influences bonding and attachment especially between women and their babies.

Thus, physically pleasuring your man and fulfilling his sexual needs can make him feel truly manly thereby making him more committed to your relationship.

Let Him Know He is a Great Lover

It is important to indicate to your man that you’re enjoying your intimate sessions together. You can do this by moaning and appropriately responding to his touches.

While not faking it, it’s also important to verbally reaffirm to your man that you’re enjoy your intimate moments with him. Whenever he does something you like, try to let him know how much you enjoyed it.

When you praise your man for being a good lover, he will almost certainly want to improve and make the “love making” better next time around.

Spice Things Up in the Bedroom

However, to truly make your man feel needed like a king, you need to regularly look for ways to spice things up in the bedroom. Variety, they say, is the spice of life.

So, regularly try out some new techniques and lovemaking positions. Also, always look for new ways to excite and drive him wild.

Try different sensations and regularly surprise him with different hot outfits and stuffs like that.

15. Embrace Your Femininity

One of the most natural ways to make your man feel needed and truly manly is for you to show off your feminine side.

Imagine your man’s eyes do a double take seeing you dressed in something decidedly feminine. How cute the smile that runs across your face and the blissful feeling that floods you at that instant.

Every man desires to see the true feminine side of his woman and once this happens, he starts to naturally feel more masculine.

Thus, whenever a woman starts showing how feminine she is, her man will almost immediately start showing how masculine he is. This change alone can rapidly make your man fall head over heels in love with you again.

Men are wildly attracted to women who are feminine and anything to the contrary would make them feel less manly and most likely start seeking alternatives.

When a woman does not make her man feel needed and manly about himself, his response to her is reset to the default emotional state of “fight-or-flight” — do I stay or do I leave!

Choosing Femininity…

Yet, femininity does not need to be associated with weakness. It should be more about an appreciation for the beauty that a woman embodies.

Thus embracing your feminine side doesn’t mean that you have to play dumb, dependent, or appear insecure. These are traits that every man detests in any lady worth being in a relationship with.

Being in tune with your femininity should be more of an expression of you being able to tap into your quiet strength and being a silent supporter.

This also means being so confident enough to let your man take the wheels and trusting his ability to do so.

Most men still have traditional ideas of what it means to be a man. So, by being more in tune with your feminine side, both of you can be more in sync.

However, a lot of women today are having a hard time being independent and feminine.

Fewer women today allow their softer side to come forward thereby obscuring their ability to see the man from the boy.

With that said, if it’s not in your nature to be feminine, nobody is suggesting you should if you don’t want to.

We are in control of our lives and our behavior often dictates our outcomes. The idea is to do the things that are working for us and stop doing those that are not working.

16. Be Vulnerable Around Him

One of the best ways to treat your man like a king is to let him see the most vulnerable and genuine part of who you are.

While you might be a strong and capable woman, it would do your relationship a lot of good letting your guards down in front of your man. Give him the opportunity to see your vulnerable and soft side.

We all know it’s a very difficult thing to open up yourself to someone else. Yet, it is one of the best things you can do to truly make your man feel needed and trusted.

Once you’re in a stage in your relationship where you know you can trust your partner, it would be good to start letting your guard down gradually.

Over time, start letting your man in on the things that trouble you, your desires, as well as your pains. You certainly don’t want to overwhelm him.

Your man will feel greatly trusted when he sees that you’re comfortable being vulnerable around him.

Being emotionally vulnerable with your man is perhaps the most powerful way of moving your relationship forward and building the strongest of bonds with him.

In Conclusion…

When you master the art of how to make your man feel needed and manly, you’ll not only be making him feel needed but also strengthening your relationship as a whole.

The conclusion of the matter is that a man generally prefers to be with a woman who knows what she wants than to be with one who will nod to every word he says.

A man also prefers a woman who is not afraid to express her true self to one who will dance to his every tune.

When you make your man feel needed and loved, he’ll act like a king. As a result, he won’t hold back on making you, his queen, feel like royalty, too.

Just keep in mind that anything you do or say that makes your man feel “needed” and “manly” is going to make him feel really important. So, keep it creative.

Finally, always remember that the key lies in mutual reciprocity. When you make your man feel needed and treat him like a king, you can be sure that he’ll treat you like a queen in return.

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